


Famous Last Words

by yourtamponisleaking



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Jokes, Best Friends, Friendship, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Inappropriate Humor, Out of Character, Platonic Relationships, Pneumonia, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Pre-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Random & Short, Short, Sick Character, Sick Peter Parker, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 04:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17594450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourtamponisleaking/pseuds/yourtamponisleaking
Summary: In which Peter is starting to get sick while in school and Ned is the best friend everybody needs in their life.Also, gen z humor sucks. So, be warned.





	Famous Last Words

Ned glances at Peter, who’s sitting at his desk. His head is down and he's shaking profusely. Ned looks around to make sure he’s in the clear from the teacher before nudging Peter. “Hey,” he whispers. “Pete, you okay?” He frowns when he sees Peter nod. “Dude. You’re drenched in sweat. C'mon, I’ll take you to the nurse.” Peter quickly sits up at that, wheezing. “N-no. I’m good, I’m good.” Ned squints. “Don’t give me that look, man. I seriously need to-" Peter chokes on his sentence while he tries to hold in a cough. “I need to pass this test. I can't stay in history class any longer. I’ll probably explode if the girls make any more Hamilton references.” Ned snorts, and the teacher glances over. “Leeds, Parker, anything you’d like to say?” Ned sees Peter tense when their classmates also look at them. “Uh, Sir, I was wondering if I could walk Peter to the nurses office.” He motions towards Peter, who's face is draining life at the second. 

The teacher narrows his eyes. “I don’t see why that’s funny. But, go ahead. I don’t need him puking in my classroom.” Ned stands and wiggles Peter. Peter let’s out a groan. “Thanks for the suggestion, sir..” he mumbles, shakily standing and leaning onto Ned. He might as well give in. The attention is already on him, as he notices people scooting their seats away from him and making faces. Ned carefully guides him out after grabbing both of their backpacks. “Leeds, I expect to see you back right after.” The teacher snaps. “Sir, yes, sir.” Ned rolls his eyes. Classmates chuckle at that, and the duo make their way out. 

“I'm totally not leaving you, dude.” Ned whispers and chuckles. Peter manages to crack a smile. “Ned Leeds, breaking rules?” Peter jests. “Oh, quiet, Mr. “I-leave-without-my-aunts-permission-at-midnight.” Ned replies with another laugh, happy that Peter laughs back, even though it was broken and disrupted by coughs.

Their noses scrunch up when they reach the nurses station. Smells like rubbing alcohol and socks. “I’ll wait right outside the door.” Ned whispers, and pushes Peter inside. Peter shakily makes his way in and signs in. “Oh, Peter, welcome.” The nurse smiles. She pours a small cup of water for him from the bubbler. “Hey, Mrs. Blood.” He says, voice still crackly. He gratefully takes a small sip from the cup. “What can I do for you?” She pats the exam bed. He grunts as he sits down on it. “I think I’m coming down with something..” 

“Poor thing..” Nurse Blood frowns. “I could tell by your voice. Can you tell me your symptoms while I prepare this for you?” She asks, changing the thermometer cover. “Uh.. congestion, coughing, aching, fatigue, chills, sore throat… the lot.” Peter sighs. He already knows what he caught, in the winter months of school. The nurse places the thermometer under Peter's tongue and her eyes widen at the number. “100.8? Poor boy..” She listens to his lungs. “Oh, Peter. That sounds like pneumonia.” Peter freezes. “Pneumonia?!” He has a fit of coughs from raising his voice. “I thought it was a cold or a flu.. something simple and quick..” 

Nurse Blood gives a reassuring smile as she places a cold washcloth on his forehead, which earned a sigh of delight. “Don’t worry too much. I’ll call your family and let them come get you.” Peter closes his eyes as he hears her heels click back to her desk. I really want to pass this stupid test.. Now I’ve got pneumonia?! Spider healing, please, why are you failing me? He genuinely wonders why he can heal a broken arm, but not some illness. “Your Aunt May will be here shortly.” Nurse Blood says softly. Peter hums in acknowledgment. 

“Ned? Is that you out there?” Nurse Blood says. Ned sweats, and sheepishly walks in. “Uh, hey! How’s it going..?” He squeaks. “Shouldn’t you be in class? Why are you in the hall?” Ned quickly makes up an excuse. “I was, uh, just wondering if you had any cough drops?” He clears his throat for emphasis. “Oh, yes. Why didn’t you ask sooner?” Nurse Blood smiles and rummages through her desk. “I’ve only got orange flavor. Is that alright?” “Yeah, perfect. Orange is actually my favorite flavor!” Ned lies. Oranges are fine, but artificial orange is a no-go. He grabs a small handful and pops one in his mouth. He turns around so Nurse Blood doesn’t see his immediate grimace. “Thanks.” He chokes out. As he goes back to the hall, a few moments of silence pass. Then an over exaggerated gagging sound. Ned had spit out the cough drop, according to the faint ‘clank' sound.  
Peter starts shaking, trying not to laugh out loud. This resulted in him coughing, and jolting up. 

 

-time had passed, almost as if this was a lazily written story for convenience -

 

Aunt May is rushing in and out of Peter's room, acting as if he was on his deathbed. Ned was about to get whiplash just watching. “Peter, pneumonia? Why didn’t you tell me about your fever this morning?” She places a cup of peppermint tea on his nightstand. “I really need to pass that history test.” His voice is gravelly. May sighs and kisses his forehead. “Peter, I larb you, but you really push yourself too hard. Take a break once in a while, please.” She more demands rather than asks. “You boys have fun, NO sneaking out. I’ll be right in the living room. Ned, call me if you need anything.” She gives Ned a hug. “Sure thing, Miss Aunt May.” He smiles. May shakes her head with a grin and heads out. Before she closes the door, Peter calls out, “Larb you too,” resulting in a giggle.  
When the door clicks shut, Ned squints at Peter. “’Larb?’” He asks. Peter throws a pillow at his chest. “Inside joke.” He snorts and sits up, only to get a pillow thrown back at his face. He surrenders and falls back on the mattress with an “oof,”. “Big oof.” Ned sighs. 

“Hey, Ned?”

“Hey, Peter-Man?” 

“I’m probably gunna die before I graduate.” 

Ned looks at him with a scowl. “Dude, I hope I die before graduation.”

Peter starts laughing. "There’s rope in the closet. Suicide pact?” He holds out his hand. “Suicide pact.” Ned shakes his hand, laughing too. “God, this generation was a mistake.” Peter says before breaking out in coughs. Ned quickly backs away, covering his face. “Gross. You’re lucky I love you. No homo.” 

“Ned Flanders, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Peter sniffles. Ned snickers. “Wanna play Mario Party?” He asks, digging through his backpack and pulling out his DS. Peter takes a few seconds to respond, sipping his tea. “Way ahead of you.” Peter says when he puts down the now empty cup. He grabs his DS from under his pillow. When Ned gives him a questioning look, Peter explains. “When I stay at home, May doesn’t like me on my electronics all day. I play at night.” Ned nods slowly. “Hm. When are you ever home at night anyways?” Ned asks, turning on multiplayer. “Uh.. good point.” They both laugh. “If I go out tonight the news would say, ‘THE Spiderman gives local old lady pneumonia, who later dies at 95.’” He gives dramatic emphasis on ‘the'. ‘It's just Spiderman’, he'd always pout. He connects to Ned's DS. 

-

After about an hour of the two playing and laughing, and a few tears about Waluigi not being in smash, Peter is worn out. Ned didn’t want to leave him alone, he knows Peter wont tell May when he’s not feeling well to ‘not worry her’. Peter yawns. “I think this is how I disappear..” He whines. “Live your life alone forever?” Ned replies, giving him a smirk. “I didn’t know you listened to My Chemical Romance.” Peter whispers. “I don't,” Says Ned, the smile dropping off Peter’s face. “I only know because YOU do, you edgy 10 year old.” “Shut up, Ned.” Peter laughs, his face red. 

“If you actually did die, what would your last words be? Mine would be something creepy like.. “Remember me, Peter! Remember meeeeeee!”” Ned cries, almost realistic. 

“Oh, wig. That’s deep. I was just gunna say that I’d sing Another One Bites The Dust.” Peter chuckles, closing his eyes. “Seriously? I think you’d say something stupider like, “I don’t feel so good,”. That’s it.” Ned snickers, playfully jabbing Peter's arm. “Yeah, obviously I wouldn’t feel so good if I were dying! I may be stupid but I am not an idiot.”  
He grins.

“If you’re taking a nap, can I call Mr. Tony Stark?” 

“No.” 

“Why noooot?” 

“He would kill me if I died.” 

“You’re not dying.” 

“Yet.” Peter whispers ominously. 

Ned rolls his eyes. He waits about 10 minutes in silence until he hears faint snores from Peter. The coast seems clear. He quietly crawls to Peter’s closet and digs around. “A-ha.” He whispers, pulling out the Spiderman mask. He gulps, takes a deep breath, and puts it on quickly. “Holy..cannoli.” He whispers. He stands in front of the mirror and strikes a heroic pose. 

He remembers Peter's words and starts silently laughing. “Mr. Stark,” He whispers between giggles, “I don’t feel so good..” He falls to the ground on a pillow mound. 

-Fin. I guess.


End file.
